A Comeback (2016 Review Primer)

I am actually supposed to do something for work but I felt this itch coming into my fingers and clicked on my blog. I am surprised to see that my last blog entry was last year. Since then, I have never made any entry for this year. What a shame.

To tell you honestly, I’ve been so occupied with a lot of things for the past few months. Good thing, they were all positive things that came along. There’s nothing to complain about and I think I’ve come into terms that we get both – good and bad in this life. If I were to recollect my past experiences, I think this year, 2016 has been so good to me. I can’t enumerate them all and I reserve them for my own for now.  But here are some of my 2016 highlights.

Work has been so generous to me and I think I’m reaping the hard work and resilience. There are ups and downs, but I’m always ready to celebrate the small wins. Part of me has grown because of the role I have in the company. I’m very privileged to have a very strong team and I’m so proud of their individual contributions. I’m so thankful for my boss and we’ve been good friends. This we found as a good formula for work relationships. We also go by the mantra of “making our people happy.” This ignites passion and keeps our office culture in tact.

In the family front, I’m delighted to have my first niece. Sister and brother-in-law is doing well in New Zealand and parents are there for a six-month vacation. I’m elated seeing my parents enjoy the snow but more importantly, I’m pleased to see their health in full-swing.

Currently, I live alone in a simple house, just a kilometer away from our old abode. Younger brother was tasked to man the old house as we have several pets there. I’m tasked to look after our property in the east of the metro, and I haven’t seen it for four months or so.

Partner and I are still going strong. He’s doing well in his new found love – business. He’ll return to corporate set-up in the next few days in Manila. We’ll live together as we sort out our future. We decided after two years that we take the next step. Our weekly house dating is just getting too short for us. We want to be together all the time. I just have one condition for him – let me do my hobby which is badminton. He’s supportive and I think it’ll never be an issue to us.

You see, despite the negativity we see in our world nowadays, I think it’s paramount for us to look on the small good things coming our way. I bet challenges will always be there, it’s part of the normalcy. One question I asked when I was in China, should we waste time in overthinking instead of contemplating how we can better ourselves and our future? I observed other countries whose people has been passionate in their own craft. They simplify, excel, inspire, they progress. I went home with that lesson in mind. 

As I move forward to another year, my fervent hope is for the people around me to feel good about themselves and start to experience growth. I was stagnant before but it takes a mindset to really change my situation. 

If I can, I’m sure you will, too.

A-Not-So Blogging Comeback

I stumbled upon Ceiboh’s recent blog entry and made me realize the same point he delivered, a comeback in blogging.

I don’t know. It’s been like 5 or 6 years from the time I blogged. The ultimate aim was just really to share stories, experiences and to document anything I feel like putting out here. As I try to relive those days where I write random stuff about love and other noteworthy ventures, I wonder what inspired me, to be honest. While I know my aim, I can’t help but get motivation from the engagement and interactions I get from blogging. It was fun and people were generally appreciative.

Most of the bloggers I know are into Twitter. Micro-blogging may have killed the blogging hobby, but I still think that blogging is completely separate from expressing mental farts, to scientific discoveries, arts, video blogging and all other platforms where you express, rant or just plainly show-off.

A lot of things have changed and mostly have infused themselves as how technology moves. Just observe how Apple technology changed the game with how we produce output at work, arts, gaming and all other things you can imagine. It’s just that crazy.

Just like snail mail, I think personal blogging should not be deterred by how we use technology in expressing and documenting our lives. Where everything now is a free-flow, the more I think that we must explain ourselves and put more color to our thoughts and feelings. We have all the technology to engage and share, what we need right now, is the passion to really connect and tell our stories with a little bit of play of words and not just turn everything visual and one-liners. Because at the end of the day, I still believe that we should elicit exchange of significant thoughts than to invite miscommunication and misinterpretation.

Do I have the time to go back to this piece of junk? Well, hell yeah. My life might have been a bore for the last three years, I am still thankful that I’m still learning a few and I’d like to share some of these things in my blog. Things changed and I know it’s a cliché. I still never outgrown my desire to really write, share and inspire others, especially those who have known me through this blog and those that I made friends with.

Just few updates about me. I’m happy with my current partner right now. We’re currently on our 16^th months and things are looking brighter for both of us. Work is tough, and is getting tougher. I work in a BPO but I’m now more than a year in the morning shift. I got a small team, but I get the fulfillment with how strong, independent and competent my team is. Family is great. Sister has already stayed in New Zealand for more than a year. We have plans of visiting her next year. I put on hold my plan of working in NZ, but I’m not closing doors and I still would want to migrate if given the chance. I started to go out again and meeting new friends has given me a new perspective in life. I lagged behind badminton, but I’m starting to pick-up on this activity since last week. I’m now staying in a new house in San Jose Del Monte Bulacan, and Bamba (my Nissan Navara pickup) is still my best companion in travels, most recent long-drive of which is Baguio. I have plans of doing video-blogs again! But I might postpone until next year, as I migrate to a new country. *fingers-crossed*

Oh life. It goes on. At my age where people think I got it all together, I think I’m in a perpetual stage of planning and really just living each day at a time. I’ve no regrets. And to my span of influence, may we all find our happiness in our journeys. 

It'll Get Better

Have you ever faced a problem alone? Like no one can ever help you but yourself? How does it feel? How did it impact your life, your important relationships and self-value? Have you realized the value of your circle? Did you reach out for help?

I’m not sure with you. But these questions, are actually the questions that I’ve asked myself, as I try to figure out solving my recent crisis in life. These are the questions that I’ve thrown myself almost every day. These are the same questions that hurt me, but made me realize stuff.

Weeks after I moved out from home (parent’s house), my issues in finances came rushing in my doorsteps. I become broke for months. I have to pay rent, budget my income and maintain my lifestyle. It was aggravated when I started working in the day shift. You see, working in a BPO industry is fabulous if you work in the evening since you are secured of night differential. But when I started supporting Asia Pacific countries like Hong Kong, Singapore, India, Australia and New Zealand, it removed my night differential which was significant in my pay with the huge tax I pay every month.

My source of income got impacted, my savings went to zero.  This change got me caught in a very tight dilemma.

Sister moved to New Zealand last September which means, I don’t have anyone close to me to ask for help. Things moved on and here comes another problem. I have to renew my car’s insurance and have my quarterly car maintenance. I also ran into a small accident where I have to claim weeks before my insurance gets expired. Unfortunately after it get fixed, my insurance expired and I have to put my car on the garage for more than a week. That means, I have to commute. To be honest, it was a humbling experience. I get to ride the jeep again and there are days I rode an ordinary bus.

I tried to patch things up by applying a short-term loan and credit cards. Everyone denied me. Not a single bank allowed me for a loan. There were insanely and ridiculous reasons why. One, my employer replied to banks saying I was a resigned employee since August. Another is my employer’s employee verification officer can’t be reached. To be perfectly honest, I felt those months were really ugly months of my life. I felt I was inviting negative vibes. There were days I think it was more than that. I felt I was cursed. A grave loser. 

I cried and reached out for help. But no one can. I think it was the universe telling me, “You gotta endure this alone my friend.”

As I cogitate my previous month’s existence. I asked those questions but ultimately, I asked myself, “why?” Why do I have to go through this?

With this I realized the meaning of friendship. I realized the importance of family. I realized how Archie loves me, that despite his own problems, he understood and helped me pay one month of my rent. That despite the distance, he braved a storm just to see and spend a day with me. I love you hon! 

Today, I’m not completely free of the struggles, but I’m getting there. I just need to settle few things and I'm off to a better life. See you soon New Zealand! I promised myself that I should no longer be in this predicament. I need to do this for myself and the people that believes in me.  I’m a bit wiser and stronger now but above all…

I could have not survive this ordeal without those few people who eased me out in the process. My gratitude remains in you all.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you!

Single Musings

I was on my way to the parking area when I realized that it has been a week from the time I celebrated my anniversary of being single. How can I forget, February 17? How can I forget the poignant moment of my life when everything got settled into parting ways? But prior to that, I was so stressed with work that there was really a hint of me being absent for at least a day.  So I am absent today. Right now, as I type the remaining body of this blog, I’m quite feverish.  However, this shouldn’t stop me from writing what I feel I need to write. It’s long overdue and I’m not giving myself a favor if I miss this chance, this moment.

So going back to my story… as I’m turning on Bamba’s engine, I kinda’ contemplated the year that was. I think one important facet of that year was the moment I had with the family. Since they are a source of strength and inspiration, I often draw the passion from them. I feel that for every step I do, every achievement I have, I bring forth pride in them. More paramount I guess is the fact that they’ve been supportive of me in every endeavor I have. October was when I outed myself to my sister, and never did I feel indifference.  In fact, I never have to out myself to my parents, because sister already confirmed that they know what I’ve gone through with ex. There’s just immense joy in that, and I draw from that feeling the willingness to move on with my life.

Then we have friends. How can I survive if not for friends? The words of encouragement, subtle schooling and bullying did help in some ways. It’s not just the happy moments you spent together as a group, but it’s more of the support you get from this people that matters. That whatever you are going through, they rarely judge you. It’s a revelation to have meet and be close to some people I never thought I will be very close with. You have Pareng L who was ex’s previous best friend. I’m not sure what happened but with some stroke of the universe, we clicked on a lot of things and it turns out that we’re like twins. Though I won’t compete on who-has-the-longest-hair contest, he has been like a repository of my dark secrets. Feels like he knows everything about me… well, lately.  Honestly, Barakos (someone coined this name to my blogger’s group), has been instrumental to my “moving-on” chapter. The fact that I can tell everything to them, means a lot. I love them. 

This was also the time I rekindled my friendship to some of my long-lost friends. Who would have thought I can gain strength from my high school friends. They’ve been very supportive as well. But more importantly, they have imparted some sort of wisdom. They have their own families but I still feel that they look after me at some point.

Then you have a best friend in the office. You know what they say that you don’t mix friendship and business together? Apparently, it’s not applicable to my co-manager friend. We have our ups and downs and lunch-date misses, but then again, we look after each other’s welfare in the office. We have nurtured a connection. We’re like shock-absorbers for each other.

I feel that my foundation at this point is family and friends. And I personally feel that it’s the right route. That however cheesy as it may sound, it’s just the primordial thing at this point.

This was also a year of unending blessings from the universe. I’m really thankful for a lot of things that have happened after the break-up.

We’ll to say the least, I feel I’m blessed to have meet several guys in my attempt to find the perfect guy. A lot of school of thoughts lingers to me in this aspect. For one, I’ve learned that it’s better to work on yourself first while you are single so that the right person will come along. I agree. Been there done that. Am I still a work in progress? I think so. Do I have the right people to give me feedback and advice? I think so too. It’s great to change for the better, I embrace this dogma, and I hope people close to me will not hesitate to provide honest feedback.

Be the person you want to meet. It’s like telling, attract someone with your own personality. Sometimes I feel it’s like a BS. But come to think of it, when you are in a relationship you want to be respected so you show the same respect. It’s easy to comprehend yet there were moments I was selfish. Like I want this, I want that… Those pesky standards I placed into guys, when all I know, those same standards can be the same standards I will be measured upon.  Funny truth.

This time around, I’m sure I’ve done my part as a single citizen of the world.

I’ve loved myself and brought back self-worth. Confidence is something that can’t be questioned. I can be upfront when situation arises. I can be observant when I need to decipher and sort things out. I can be wherever I want to be. It’s this feeling of control to my destiny that brings me the most “high.” This concludes the fact that I’ve experienced happiness in both sides – being single and being in a relationship.  

Whatever the case maybe, I think my own happiness is non-negotiable.

So now, I’m not sure what’s in store for me in the future. If it entails another heart break, so be it. If I was able to bear it at some point, I don’t think it will be harder the next time around. If it entails a blissful success, I’ll be very thankful in every second of my life. I think it takes a lot of maturity to accept whatever risk we have to take. It takes maturity to know when to stop and know the consequences. I’m on that stage right now.

A plethora of things and tasks are still in the pipeline. As long as there is something to do and to look forward to, I’m ok.

I’m ok.

Thank You 2013

It has been a year of ups and downs, but mostly happy stories this 2013. I’m happy to recount some of the highlights, stories and lessons of this year and how it impacted the way I view things now.  Indeed, I’m thankful for the blessings and love manifested by the universe. I’m thankful that for this year, I got to have more control of my life and steered it on the way I want it to be. Thanks to people who shared their time, to the friends who never left me on my own battles, to my family who've always been with me. 

January

• First time to experience tollgate (NLEX). Went to Tagaytay with ex to celebrate his 27th birthday. It was a thrilling experience, something very new to me. But honestly, I’m intimidated by how other people can tackle the road flawlessly. I survived my first bout in the most famous national road of the country. I arrived in Tagaytay in one piece.

• The month where I started planning out New Zealand migration.

February

• Few days after Valentines, he broke up with me. I cried for few days and was ready to move on after several weeks.

• The months where I averaged 15 hours a day at work

March

• Dated the following: a Twitter personality, someone I met in PR, someone in Grindr, a policeman and some more

• Work started to be very demanding. Still averaging 15 hours a day at work

April

• Attended one of my supervisor's wedding in Pampanga. Conquered SLEX this time.

May

• Scheduled my meeting with NZ immigration consultant

June

• My sister got diagnosed with Viral Encephalitis. One of the most dramatic episodes of my life.

• Cancelled my plan to migrate to NZ due to high expenses in the hospital

July

• Seriously planned on buying a pick-up

August

• One of the best months in the office. Site’s performance exceeded all other vendors

September

• Planned my birthday in Palawan with my sister

October

• Went to Palawan with Sis. Enjoyed every moment of this vacation

• Got featured in damuhan.com, thanks again to my friend, Bino

• Bought Bamba, my Nissan Navara pick-up (picture above)

• Went to Subic to visit our US Navy cousin

• Went to Tagaytay with the closest friends in the online world – the Barakos

November

• Most emotional month of all the months. There were moments I got depressed because of the feeling of emptiness

• Sis’ boyfriend came home from New Zealand to have a vacation. It was my first time to drive to the international airport to pick-up someone. 

December

• Busiest month of the year

• Experienced for the first time manila's theme park – Star City

• Went to Puerto Galera, got drunk on one of the weekends and met a guy who sat beside me on the beach

• Went to Tagaytay with Arvin, my co-soundcloud artist. Hmmm, I know right.

• Attended a family reunion for the first time

The universe has blessed me with a lot of human interactions, failures which ended up to be valuable lessons in life. Here are some of the key thoughts I remember for 2013: 

• That everything happens for a reason. The plans that did not materialize, just like the plan to migrate might not or will not be good for me.  Or is not yet time.

• Breaking-up is not bad after all. You get to learn more of yourself after being hurt. It’s also a test of how you can endure temporary pain. That moving on is the most important facet.

• Friends are the people who are there for you when you are down, not when there is just booze and some party going on.

• That having a boyfriend is cool. But being rich is cooler. Just kidding

• If you are single, you will be sad once in a while

• Having a relationship will never define you. It should not be the end-all or be-all

• It’s better to be single than be in a wrong relationship

• Pursue happiness, and enjoy while doing it

• Never leave your friends behind

• Generosity, thankfulness, deep gratitude and paying it forward

• “What others do to you is their karma, how you react, is yours.”

• Love your work, and work will love you back, ten-folds

With just a few days, we will welcome 2014. I just hope that the universe continue to bless me with wisdom. But above all, peace and serenity in my heart - comfort that whatever happens in my life, I got all the things I need and that my dreams are just in the palm of my hands. 

To prosperity and beyond. 

Cheers. 

Thought of Diaspora

This entry is written to remind myself of how it was like for me being single again. It’s been more than three months since the break-up and as I assess myself, I got scared knowing that I’ve been just fine. I just don’t find it normal that there’s no such thing as mourning or countless moments of emoness. Don’t get me wrong, I got sad, but it wasn’t perpetual as expected. I know that I should be celebrating my maturity and the impeccable way I handled myself during and after the event, which in my point of view, is a typical expectation for someone who has been seasoned and lucky to have several relationships in life.  I hope I can say it was easy but as I try to go back day by day, building this story, and recapitulating the emotions that went around it, I can’t help but realize how the impact of this, change me to view things and force me to understand better.

No one can really make a 100% effective manual to move on and overcome a painful break-up. It takes more than putting a step by step process and expect someone to run with it and have a happily ever after ending. There’s just no blanket approach. Though some people can relate, I believe the best medicine to this kind of pain is their own antidote that they themselves can create.

Work has been the best refuge so far. It is integral to me. It gave me the reason to subject myself to long hours at work, focus on what needs to be done, support the people that work for the company and for my department. Knowing the fact that I only depend on myself, I feel more the need to achieve. The salary mindset has been totally erased and for me, the paramount in my career is to be able to achieve my personal career goals. It elates me being able to touch a lot of people, inspire them to be achievers too. I realized and dawned on me my strength in helping people realize their potentials. I’m also happy to have found new mentors in my career. People who I think at some point might have lost confidence in me, but has always been patient in providing feedback and guidance. 

So I asked myself. What else can I do to enrich my life? I recently joined a speech and leadership organization, Toastmasters International. In this club, a lot of professional spends a great deal of hours to hone their public speaking skills. But on top of that – no one can deny the fact that this group is a great source of friendship and network. It was really an enriching experience to have met some VPs from banks, managers from retail industry, entrepreneurs, college students/professors, IT professionals, auditors and a whole lot more. Last Saturday, we had this small workshop about personal goals and challenges. That workshop was indeed something I need to cap that day. I was already on my 20^th hour awake from a Friday night shift at work. 

There are two things lurking my mind that moment of workshop. One is my goal of migrating to NZ. Seek better life outside the country, and number two, purchase my dream pick-up car. Obviously of the two, the easiest to achieve was the latter. I have a job that can sustain monthly amortization. I just can sell my existing ride to decrease the amount of down payment. But then again, I realized. Is this self-enriching? Is it really worth buying a new car? Will this bring long-term happiness in my life? Or will it just give me license to brag, feel good about myself and then what? 

As I try to build a plot in my head, the resounding foundation of this all is really my desire to move on with my new life. That I’m already single, that I should be opening a new chapter in my existence. That I should be thinking about my future whether alone or with a partner if ever. I’m happy of the change, but the transition really just bores me to death. Partly it’s my fault of not doing anything, or maybe I’m not pushing myself hard. 

I had several meet-ups and dates after the break-up, but then I realized, is it worth it? Or maybe I’m just not finding the right guy, or I’m not yet prepared for any guy for that matter. Is it my standards? Well I certainly don’t blame my ex, he’s really one tough guy to beat (see, I’m not a hater). Can I adjust to any guy? Then I thought of some pre-conditions. Which makes me conclude, it’s not happening, or my heart's turning to stone?

The month of June will be extra tough in terms of managing my itinerary. I’ve committed myself in adhering to my calendar of activities which points to my other goal.  A sort of stuff will be sacrificed, but I feel that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. I really owe this to myself. If it comes soon, I’d be stoked with the idea of a better life, not only for me, but for my family as well. 

A close friend asked, “What will compel you to change your mind to migrate?” I answered, “Two things. That f*cking Strada I’ve been yearning for years. Number two… if that someone I’m eyeing for will ask me to stay.” 

“Taena mo Leo. Ang landi mo rin eh.” And we burst out laughing. 

I don’t know. I think there are solid plans in my mind. But it’s really all up to me at this point. The universe blessed me with endless options but at the end of the day, the decision should come from the heart. 

Great days ahead I see. Great days...

When Kids are Not Kids (literally)

Our household is composed of the usual cast; the Mother, the Father, Sister and Brother. I’m the eldest and I’ve seen my sister and brother become adults right before my very eyes. When I was still young, they were babies. Unlike most of the elder siblings, I don’t get jealous by my parent’s ardent attention with the juvenile rowdy broods. I got a life of my own and I only need minute guidance from mama and papa. When I was a kid, I got high expectations upon myself and I felt the need to inspire the kids to study well like me. I thought I got 50% success rate in that goal, having my sister graduate BS Nursing and my younger brother, still a work in progress. He’s out from college pursuing rock music.

Growing up, I was used to having kids running around the house. I used to seeing crayon marks in the wall, toys all around the living room and candy wrappers hidden under the sofa. Apart from the usual riot I see almost every day, my parent’s voice lingers in every corner of the house. On those very moments, you can see me inside my room, studying. Or doing my favorite monologues or singing.

My parents now are nearly approaching their 60’s. The average age of the household now is sitting at 37.8. In other words, we’re getting old and the usual noise you hear at home is now replaced with the noise of TV, radio, dogs barking and neighbor’s children playing outside the street.  

Only until recently that we got to be friendlier to our pets. In comparison to the previous years, we’re generally friendly to our house pets but not to the point of allowing them inside the living room. They can just go as far as our dirty kitchen. They have their own abode in our garage or backyard.

Things have changed and we now miss having kids around. However, we can’t have the option of having another kid, for obvious reasons that Nimmy and I can’t produce our own. Adoption is not also an option. Raising a kid for us means we have to be very stable in all aspect. We’re working on it. My sister doesn’t have a boyfriend and I influenced sister enough with the need to establish a good life for her future kids. Brother has a girlfriend, but he’s well aware of the repercussion of having his own family. He’s definitely not ready for it.

So to satisfy our craving, we have established some special bonds with our pets. They can now enter the living room, play around the carpet - which by the way, have been exposed to our dog’s furry coat. It’s a struggle to clean. Cats can now wander around our rooms. Cats and dogs have been playmates and our spring door, their most favorite playground equipment. 

By the way, if you consider fighting cocks as pets, we have around 17 cocks- 12 found in our farm, 5 are in our backyard, tendered by my dad.  Whether they like it or not though, they can just stay where they are. 

I'd like to introduce our cute and lovable house pets. Apologies for the pictures, it's hard taking them when they are in constant playful motion and if you're just using a cellphone cam. Also, they have last names too, courtesy of my very prolific sister. Enjoy! 

Yuki Manashue, our 2 years old Canaan white breed dog. His tricks include high five and  puppy eyes.

Jamal Yaislamiya, 3 years old dwarf askal. He's the Mara in Mara Clara.

Cerberus Xrus, 3 years old dwarf askal, the Clara in Mara Clara. He's got special talent; licking walls and doors.

Lucio Cubangay, son of the famous blogger Nimmychan, chilling out in our car Nikki. 

Father and son, Nimmy and Lucio. This is also my current phone wall paper. So cute, I wanna  squeeze them. 

Odie Wankinobeh, 5 years old tri-colored queen resting in Nimmy's thigh. 

Payo sa Kabataang Nagmamahal

PNP: SM Pampanga shooting incident a closed case, but…

abs-cbnNEWS.com

Posted at 10/16/2011 3:31 PM | Updated as of 10/16/2011 3:31 PM

MANILA, Philippines - The Pampanga Philippine National Police (PNP) already considers the SM shooting incident involving two minors a closed case despite possibilities raised by one of the victims' family.

The family claimed that a third party may be involved in the killing, as gleaned from an amateur video of the incident that made the rounds in the Internet last week.

Pampanga PNP spokesperson Superintendent Jhoanna Rosales told ANC that all evidence gathered by police pointed to the 13-year-old victim as the one who shot his friend and ultimately, himself.

She said, however, that they are willing to reopen the investigation if their initial findings will be challenged. – from ANC

Naging paksa kamakailan sa mga programa sa telebisyon, radyo, diaryo at internet ang balita ukol sa pagkakamatay ng isang kabataang lalake at ng kaniyang kinikilalang nobyo sa SM Pampanga. Usap usapan din ang naging video na kumalat sa Youtube na tumuligsa sa sangkapulisan at pamamahala ng SM. Sa pagkitil sa kaniyang buhay at sa kanyang minamahal ay totoo namang isang napakasakit na pangyayari at yugto sa mga buhay ng mga magulang nitong dalawa. Hiling ko na ang kasong ito ay magsasara ng may aral na kalakip sa lahat. 

Sa totoo lang, hindi naging maganda ang epekto ng panonood ko sa video nila. Araw araw ko naiiisip ang hirap at sakit na pinagdaanan nila na humantong sa isang napakalungkot na pangyayari. Marahil isa itong naguumapaw na awa sa kanilang sinapit. Hindi ko man buong nalalaman ang sitwasyon nilang dalawa, dinala ako ng pangyayaring ito sa pag-iisip ng aking mga karanasan sa pag-ibig. 

Sa aking murang edad na anim na taon, naranasan ko ang magkagusto sa aking kalaro. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko noon. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang aking kagustuhan na lagi siyang nakikita. Ngunit sa panonood ng TV at pakikiramdam sa kapaligiran, nalaman ko na ito'y mali, at walang sinuman ang dapat makaalam. Dumating ang ilang pang taon, nalaman ko na ako'y iba sa normal. Naging tampulan ng tuksuhan ng mga kaklase at kaibigan. Alam ko na ako'y bakla. 

Nang nalaman ko na labing-tatlo lang ang isa sa mga namatay, naisip ko ang panahon na ako'y nasa first year high school. Ito ang panahon na ako'y sigurado na sa aking kasarian. Sa panahong ito, natuto ako makipagkaibigan sa maraming kaedad. Isang barkada ang aking nasumpungan. Masaya ako na ako'y kanilang tanggap. Ito rin ang panahon na gusto kong kumawala sa paningin ng aking mga magulang. Batid ko nun na malaya akong mag-isip sa sarili. Alam ko ang gusto ko noon. 

Sa panahong yaon, isang biyaya ang magkaroon ng ka-grupo. Isang napakalaking tulong na makausap ang mga taong naiintindihan ka sa iyong pinagdaraan. Hindi pa nauuso ang internet noon, kaya ang pakikipag-usap ay nasesentro sa personal na pamamaraan. Batid mong ika'y hindi nag-iisa sa pagsubok na nakatanikala. 

Sa panahong ito, natuto ako magmahal sa sarili. Nabatid ko na ako'y importante. Natuto ako maging mabuting kaibigan. Natuto ako makinig sa iba, at matuto sa kanilang karanasan at problema. Masaya ang mga panahon na iyon kahit na ang pamumuhay ng aming pamilya ay hikahos. Sagana naman ako sa atensiyon at pagmamahal. 

Walang sinuman ang may karapatan na humusga sa mga pinagdaanan ninuman, lalong lalo na sa dalawang batang biktima. Ang pangyayaring iyon ay isang aral hindi lamang sa magulang, kundi pati na rin sa mga anak. 

Madali na lang sa panahon ngayon maniwala sa iba't ibang bagay na dala ng internet. Ngunit hindi matatawaran ang aral ng mga magulang. Hindi sa sinasabi kong maging mahigpit ang mga ama at ina, bagkus, marahil ay marapat na busugin ng atensiyon at gabay ang mga kabataan higit sa panahon ngayon. Sa mga kaibigan at kabarkada, tibayan ang pagkakaibigan at magbigay ng panahon sa pakikinig sa iba. Huwag mong hayaan mapahamak at magisip ng masama ang kaibigan mo. 

At sa mga kabataan ngayon, magmahal kayo ng ayon sa nararapat. Higit kailanman, ang pagmamahal sa Diyos ay una sa listahan. Napakasarap mabuhay lalo na kung nabubuhay ka na may pangarap. Magdasal at ibigin mo ang Panginoon na nagbibigay sa iyo ng biyaya. Mahalin mo ang magulang mo. Marami na silang pinagdaanan. Matuto ka sa mga sinasabi nila. Huwag mong paliitin ang mundo dahil sa iyong kasintahan, bagkus, gawin mo siyang inspirasyon para sa isang buhay na mas maunlad. Hindi natatapos ang mundo sa iisang tao lamang. Ginawa ka ng Panginoon para magsilbi sa kapwa. Gamitin mo ang talento at kakayahang ibinigay sa iyo. At kung hindi ka man magtagumpay, isipin mo na hindi ito balakid para hindi magmamahal muli. 


Tayo lahat ay babalik sa Panginoong Maykapal, mas maganda bumalik sa Ama na may masasabi kang nagmahal ka sa buhay na iyong tinanggap at sa mga buhay na Kaniyang nilikha...

Thanks 6/18

Thanks for a wonderful week...
For the chance to praise You
A chance to serve 
A chance to prove myself that I can be worthy


It has been tough and challenging months
But to this day, I can start to see
The unraveling mystery
And appreciate the obscure fact

Educate Thy Kids

After reading Rich Dad Poor Dad few weeks ago, I never thought that it will have such a GREAT impact in my thinking. Robert Kiyosaki had really made his point come across by his examples and anecdotes. The book revolves around financial education and how it can solve financial struggles of his fellow Americans. 

While most of the folks think that getting a college degree, getting a job and earning helps alleviate their economic status, Robert through his "rich dad" taught him a very valuable lesson better than what most people get from universities. I love how Robert explained the rat race, and how most of the people are trapped on it. 

The book really did inspire me through the tough times I am in right now. 

If only I have read this book prior to me getting my first job in 2001, I know that my life right now could be far more different. Coming from a family that is not that financially educated, I got trapped. There is this undying clamor to get out of it, for the view is not enticing. Despite of it all, I can say, I am blessed, because my parents started off with some small investments. What an eldest son got left to do, is to ensure that this sleeping assets are woken up to work for us. 

Is it too late then? I contemplated a lot on this new dogma. At first, I was astonished by the  pragmatism of the approach, and realized, this could have been very simple. I felt, that the things I learned from it are realistic, and can be applied at this very moment. So to answer the question, I think it is definitely not too late. The best time to start is now, now and now. 

The Philippines is one country with plethora of resources and my idea is that if all youth, the kids, are taught to be entrepreneurs, these resources could have been used to help alleviate the sad plight of our economy. If we can cultivate the minds of the younger generation in aiding them to be more financially adept, we could have lessen the number of students taking up Nursing. 

I'm no parent, but if ever given the chance, I want my kids to be raised with a mindset to save, invest and buy properties with values that don't depreciate. 

The best is yet to come and I certainly hang on to that cliche. Aside from hoping, I'm starting off studying and learning the rudiments that I need to learn... For sure, it's going to be rough ride, but being experienced as I am, there's no boulder I cannot crush. 

There's really hope with God.