In a sudden burst of emotion, all I can say to him was, “Ayoko na.”
Two months have passed and here I am going strong and seemingly have my life figured all up. The decision to call it off steamed from the fact that the relationship no longer serves me. The pang of emotion from two taciturn soul just couldn’t help bridge whatever chaotic situation it resulted. At last I’m free. I’m free to do whatever I want. Afterall, that’s my request. I have to be alone so I can better off myself.
Fast forward two months. I saw how my life unfold from just pursuing my interests without the guilt of having someone feel bad if I go home early. This ardent feeling of independence was addicting and there’s no stopping me at this point.
Until I met someone.
He’s red flag all over. Not the type of person you would like to have serious relationship with.
I got handful of reasons not to pursue this damn feeling. And I’m so proud in saying that I did a good job of not falling to the trap.
Trap. He’s been sending a lot of mixed signals and if I’m that stupid, I could have reacted with confidence and strong assumption that he’s really into me. F*ck.
Lucky me, I don’t have time to process this with utmost urgency and ask him if he feels the same way – or if he has this inkling to pursue me, or whatever. Maybe he felt my indifference, maybe not. You know what, I just don't care anymore.
Too old for this sh*t to consume my time. Time that I could have used to make myself productive.