To My Future Half,
I wonder if you are still in existence. For I am not sure if I will continue my life in solitude or together we weave our love story. I wonder if you are just out there living your own life, doing your usual grind or in the arms of your lover. I sometimes think if we will still see each other, cross our paths or should I just wallow in the thoughts that you are no longer to happen. That you actually do not exist. That I am just a fool.
Quite frankly, I am losing patience. Not in a desperate type of way, but I just can't help but think that you are just out there. That you might be someone living in my circle, someone I met in the past, someone I get to interact online, or someone that have gone astray. I am losing patience in myself because the more I control my feelings, the more I see myself clamoring for your attention. Then again, the sad part is, I don't know who you are. Or I know you, but I am afraid to take that step believing that we don't sing the same song. I hope I am wrong and it is not too late.
Let me put this all out.
You know, in my dreams I see you as someone that complements my crazy life. In my randomness, there you are arranging my elements. For in my authoritative way, you harmonize and make me do things in unison to yours. That in my character you add shades I've never set my eyes and heart upon before, because you just can. You just simply can.
If you are someone I have chance upon in the past, I am sorry for not paying attention. My heart belongs to someone that time. Now that I am free, I was indeed wrong to assume that maybe, it's our time now. I am still waiting. Because until we fall in each other's arms, I will feel that longingness. It does linger until now, and it pains me tremendously, that you are still not in my reality.
It takes time. I should wait. I should be patient. Believe me, I understand and I am patient.
As I wait for you my future half, I am making myself busy preparing for your coming. For when our time comes, I want you to be proud of me. I don't want you to feel I am just an average person not worthy of your time, trust and affection. I hope that despite my shortcomings, you will still have faith in me. We want us to be strong. We want us to define stability and maturity. Your happiness is my happiness. I want us to laugh together. Meet our families and friends. That we are intimate not because it is our responsibility, but because it is nothing but normalcy. There are times we will argue, but we will stick with each other no matter what, because on our hearts, that's the right thing to do. When the time comes I am prepared, I believe you will come along. You will come along.
To you I will devote my life. Strong words, though we know it is the fundamental for both. Serious, but that it is how it should be. Because what is the sense of relationship if it just flows and exist on fooling around. Let's leave that to those who aspires for a miserable life.
I can't wait for this moment. I can see ourselves planning our lives together, travelling and trying all sorts of things and eating. At our confines I can imagine your scent, your soft caress and the way your fingers pinch my fingers. I can't wait to lay my head to your shoulders, or kiss your forehead tenderly while you look sleepy. I can't wait to see you sleeping beside me and on those moments I realize how lucky I am to have you FINALLY.
Love,
Leo
