Ambivalent Feelings (Part 1)

Mid-life crisis. Sabi nila this is the period where you feel naguguluhan ka sa buhay mo. Di mo alam kung ano gusto mo marating o makuha. Once you achieved something, ok ka na for a period of time (maximum na one day). After a while, you want something else, work for it and once you get it, ayun na naman, you want something else na naman. Until you feel tired and you feel immobile.

Wala lang.

I know that the importance in happiness is not getting what you want but the exciting part is the process that you go through to attain it. There's one thing though that I'm really happy that I have now. Of course, my Mahal.

But since I have my Mahal, and everything is going strong - I tend to think of other aspect of your life. Career? Actually, hindi masyado. There are challenges and obstacles in my work, I understand those are but normal.

But why am I going through this? I know I haven't proven anything yet, and I don't need to prove to everyone actually, but this feeling... this ambivalent feeling inside me... it needs to stop.

I am happy as it is, but I think I can do better in anything I do.

I just need to start from something. I have an idea, and it needs to work.