Earlier that year, I was like in a limbo hovering from one
place to the other. I was in a constant search for that one person. I don’t
know why, but I guess part of my DNA is the sheer passion to be with someone.
My center and peace of mind revolves around the fact that I was born to love
and be loved. When one can construe this a mere dependence to someone, others
find this a sign of weakness and a depiction of one “hopeless romantic”
micro-organism of the entire universe. Well, a news for myself, I am that
person, and I don’t intend to put a stop until I find him. I guess I was never
really born alone or single. It’s just not my story.
My happiness is not really finding the perfect guy that
society conspicuously dictates in so many forms of platform. It’s not even in
the chase. I came to conclude one day that my happiness is simply finding a
person who I can love, spend the rest of my life and just open up my life so he
can love me back.
Easy? Definitely not.
Finding a partner in life is like looking for a dream job. You
go on dates like it’s an interview process, you go on several dates – which is
like an on the job training. Come to think of it, relationship starts to be
like a job and ends up being a career. Why? Because you start by doing your job
as a partner, and as time goes by, you build your life and your choices based
on the relationship, just like a career.
However, I dug deeper, I feel that relationships should be
taken as separate entities. Your discipline in the work is something you do not
apply in your love one. And when I say discipline, it’s the corporate management
where you document disciplinary measures and instill progressive programs. Same
goes for love-relationships, you do not kiss and hug after a terrible fight at
work. Needless to say, that’s very awkward.
My contention really is this, finding your love of your life
is seeking not your happiness, but the happiness of the person you've chosen to
love for the rest of your life. Along the way, if your happiness and his
happiness dances in unison, count not the years of togetherness because years become
irrelevant for two people who signed contracts in their hearts, it’s more
binding than a piece of paper.
As I aged, I realized that success for the youth are the
people that have accumulated wealth over the years. In my age right now, it
still applies. But as I grow older, I reckon my success is measured by how my
partner reminisce the moments we shared - the problems we have solved, the
laughter that made us forget, the people who we've helped, the effort we put
just to see each other, how we smelled each other’s neck, how we finish the food
in our plates, sharing popcorn and soda while watching a movie, the warm hug
before we fall asleep, and so many others.
In our age right now, where we are busy with our own careers
and realizing our dreams, I can’t help but think about my future with him.
Relationship for me is not complete if we don’t share those dreams together.
While I may get support and validation from my family and friends, I find my
partner’s perspective a little bit over the notch than anyone else. After all,
I feel that what is given by my partner is more than a validation.
I thank the universe for trusting me to love again. I am
happy that I've found peace and serenity knowing that a person have seen beyond
my imperfection and just accepted me for who I am. And I think the secret is
just doing the same, loving the person beyond the imperfection and accepting
them for who they are.
