Have you ever faced a problem alone? Like no one can ever
help you but yourself? How does it feel? How did it impact your life, your
important relationships and self-value? Have you realized the value of your
circle? Did you reach out for help?
I’m not sure with you. But these questions, are actually the
questions that I’ve asked myself, as I try to figure out solving my recent
crisis in life. These are the questions that I’ve thrown myself almost every
day. These are the same questions that hurt me, but made me realize stuff.
Weeks after I moved out from home (parent’s house), my
issues in finances came rushing in my doorsteps. I become broke for months. I
have to pay rent, budget my income and maintain my lifestyle. It was aggravated
when I started working in the day shift. You see, working in a BPO industry is
fabulous if you work in the evening since you are secured of night
differential. But when I started supporting Asia Pacific countries like Hong
Kong, Singapore, India, Australia and New Zealand, it removed my night
differential which was significant in my pay with the huge tax I pay every
month.
My source of income got impacted, my savings went to
zero. This change got me caught in a
very tight dilemma.
Sister moved to New Zealand last September which means, I don’t
have anyone close to me to ask for help. Things moved on and here comes another
problem. I have to renew my car’s insurance and have my quarterly car maintenance.
I also ran into a small accident where I have to claim weeks before my insurance
gets expired. Unfortunately after it get fixed, my insurance expired and I have
to put my car on the garage for more than a week. That means, I have to
commute. To be honest, it was a humbling experience. I get to ride
the jeep again and there are days I rode an ordinary bus.
I tried to patch things up by applying a short-term loan and
credit cards. Everyone denied me. Not a single bank allowed me for a loan.
There were insanely and ridiculous reasons why. One, my employer replied to banks saying I was a
resigned employee since August. Another is my employer’s employee verification
officer can’t be reached. To be perfectly honest, I felt those months were
really ugly months of my life. I felt I was inviting negative vibes. There were
days I think it was more than that. I felt I was cursed. A grave loser.
I cried and reached out for help. But no one can. I think it
was the universe telling me, “You gotta endure this alone my friend.”
As I cogitate my previous month’s existence. I asked those
questions but ultimately, I asked myself, “why?” Why do I have to go through
this?
With this I realized the meaning of friendship. I realized
the importance of family. I realized how Archie loves me, that despite his own
problems, he understood and helped me pay one month of my rent. That despite
the distance, he braved a storm just to see and spend a day with me. I love you hon!
Today, I’m not completely free of the struggles, but I’m
getting there. I just need to settle few things and I'm off to a better life. See you soon New Zealand! I promised myself that I should no longer be in this
predicament. I need to do this for myself and the people that believes in me. I’m a bit wiser and stronger now but above all…
I could have not survive this ordeal without those few
people who eased me out in the process. My gratitude remains in you all.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you!
