It’s about time that I tell the
story behind the heartrending tweets. It’s almost four weeks, and today should
have been another month added to six years. Few more, we could have turned
seven. But all stories, even the good ones, must come to an end.
Nimmy and I broke up.
He threw the towel and all I can
do is yield. No words can describe the
feeling during that day, when all I thought, this can never happen. As I try to look back and reflect on my past
actions, I’m torn between thinking I was never enough or we are never in unison
in our last months as partners. I was like playing the wrong tune and was
playing the music out in the orchestra. I’m left out, or I left him out. We’re
doing it differently, when it shouldn't be.
The sad part I guess is that I kept
closed ears, and blocked the senses of the heart. When all is falling apart, I was blinded in my
optimistic view about relationship and our future. When perhaps he was crying
in pain, I was there fighting my own battle in life. When perhaps I was alone
and tired, he was there, he's turn to fight his own battle. That shouldn't be the case
when for all the experiences I have, I should have seen it coming, and could
have done something. I may have the instinct on things, but I decided to ignore
and go with the flow. For I’m faced with the idea and vision of love and eternal.
My vision was joy, but together, it was not.
Perhaps people reading this and
have experienced broken-hearted, may relate to the pain I’m going through. It pains
me too, that he’s going through the same.
But I know he is that strong because he was able to call it out on me. It was not an easy task, however I know
that he’s happy in his decision. I believe it was the best for us, and I support
him all throughout.
And life has to move on…
I have a career to take care of,
plans to carry out, and my family who’s been very supportive in all my
endeavors. Despite the many failed relationships they have witnessed, they are
still there to support. I guess it was just for me to re-learn the values of love
in the family. It’s a learning process, and I know that life will eventually
unfold to me on greater heights. This situation also made me realize who true
friends are. To those, thanks for listening to me.
The wisdom never failed me, that in times of trouble and grief, only few
friends will be there to console. I’m thankful for those who understood us, and
for those people who never left him. I still care for him, for I know I can
survive alone.
I remember the things I learned
in The Alchemist. That this relationship may have been a Personal Legend that I
have achieved, one should not be discouraged to find another Personal Legend. The
heart should move on, the same way that we want to discover ourselves.
As for Nimmy, I know he’s still
young and I know he’ll go places. He’s smart, and he’s destined to be whatever
he wants to be. I’m proud of him and I’m forever thankful for his kindness and
love.
There are so many things going on
in my mind, and I hope thoughts will settle soon in the form of plans and
actions. I’m positive things will work out just fine. It better be.
As I try to find myself, I hope
that the Universe trust me to love again soon.
