Stronger

Stronger

by Mandisa

Hey, heard you were up all night

Thinking about how your world ain't right

And you wonder if things will ever get better

And you're asking why is it always raining on you

When all you want is just a little good news

Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head

It's gonna end

God's right there

Even if it's hard to see Him

I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

And things can only get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger

Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger

Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can

Hold on and let Him hold your hand

And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus

Oh, lift your head it's gonna end

God's right there

Even when you just can't feel Him

I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life

He will be faithful to complete it

If only you believe it

He knows how much it hurts

And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

In time it's gonna get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger

Stupidity Episode 1

Picture taken from:  http://www.3rdeyeopen.org

A long time ago, there lies a kingdom from a far away land. The kingdom has a Handsome King and a Beautiful Queen.  On the contrary to the foregoing, their child was an ugly, horrible, dark Prince. So ugly was the face that no one dares to look at. His face was hideous that anyone who lay their eyes on his face will die of a heart-attack.

One day, the ugly prince went to the woods to play. He got lost from the long and winding track. Tracing his route, he saw a cabin and knocked.

“Hello, anybody home? I’m lost. I need to get back to Kingdom before 

supper.”

An old lady opened the almost dilapidated door and was shocked on the sight of the prince.

“Go away ugly Prince! I can’t help you. I’m old and…”

Before she can finish her sentence, the old lady died of heart-attack.

The sad ugly Prince got bewildered. He went back to the road and on his way, he saw a horse carriage. The old man halted the horses and asked the Prince.

“Are you lost my child? Where are you headed?”

“I need to get back to the Kingdom before supper, I’m lost and I can’t find my way back.”

Before the old man can respond, he died.

The ugly Prince head on to the gravel road and saw a fruit stand. He stopped by and asked the store owner.

“Madam, I’m lost and hungry. How much is an apple?”

The store owner looked at the pale and ugly Prince. To her shock, she died.

The ugly Prince took a big watermelon and headed back to the road. On his way, he saw an old man with a dog. The ugly Prince know that in order for the man not to be killed, he need to cover his face and what better way to do just that is by using the watermelon he stole.

He covered his face and asked the old man. “Sir, I need help to find my way back to the Kingdom. I’ve been walking for hours, and not a single human being survived seeing my face.”

“I’m on my way to the Kingdom to pay taxes. You can walk with me, but you have to give me your watermelon.”

“NO! You can’t have the watermelon. The moment I give this to you, you will die.”

Startled by the ugly Prince’s abrupt retort, the old man pulled his dog’s harness and walked away.

The ugly Prince followed the old man with the dog, still carrying the watermelon both with his hands, up on his face.

“You can’t trick me old man. I can still follow you on your way to the Kingdom.  You can die after tagging me unknowingly from a distance.”

The old man found out that the ugly Prince is following them. He purposely changed his route. His dog suddenly became uneasy. He pulled his dog’s harness and the ugly Prince heard the dog’s restrained sound. The ugly Prince can’t see the whole ordeal because of the watermelon blocking almost half of his vision of the road.

Towards the ugly Prince’s last step, the ugly Prince fell towards a big cliff. His head banged on a sharp stone crushing his skull and his left eye popping out. The watermelon swung by his chest and got crushed on his pelvic.

The dog’s tail went side to side and pulled his master towards the road to the Kingdom to pay taxes.

The END.

Fionnghuala by Anuna

I'm currently studying Celtic music and this song interpreted by the best Celtic music chorale, Anuna, has moved me into multitude of proportion. Their superb rendition, arranged by Irish composer Michael McGlynn is so fascinating that it made me watch this video multiple times. From beginning to end, I had goosebumps more especially towards the audience's generous applause. 

Complete Lyrics in Scottish Gaelic

Ars' an gobha fuiricheamaid

Ars' an gobha falbheamaid

Ars' an gobha ris an ogha

Na sheasamh aig doras an t-sabhail

Gu rachadh e a shuirghe

Sèist: (after each verse)

'Si eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Am bothan a bh' aig Fionnghuala

'Si eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Am bothan a bh' aig Fionnghuala

Bheirinn fead air fulmairean

Bheirinn fead air falmairean

Liuthannan beaga na mara

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Bheirinn fead air fulmairean

Bheirinn fead air falmairean

Liuthannan beaga na mara

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Thuirt an gobha fuirighidh mi

'S thuirt an gobha falbhaidh mi

'S thuirt an gobha leis an othail

A bh' air an dòrus an t-sàbhail

Gu rachadh e a shuirghe

***

Lyrics in English

The blacksmith said, "I'll wait"

The blacksmith said, "I'll go"

The blacksmith said, in his confusion

Standing at the door of the barn

That he was going to go courting

Chorus:

Island of bothies, of bothies

Island of bothies, of bothies

Island of bothies, of bothies

Fingal's bothies

Island of bothies, of bothies

Island of bothies, of bothies

Island of bothies, of bothies

Fingal's bothies

I'd knock spots off the birds

I'd knock spots off the hakes

Little lythes of the sea

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

We got nothing here

We got nothing here

We got nothing here

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

I'd knock spots off the birds

I'd knock spots off the hakes

Little lythes of the sea

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

We got nothing here

We got nothing here

We got nothing here

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

The blacksmith said, "I'll wait"

The blacksmith said, "I'll go"

The blacksmith said, in his confusion

Standing at the door of the barn

That he was going to go courting

Downbeat Thrown

Where's the cliff when you need it? When you need it more to fly than to exterminate yourself from the world? Questions like this haunts me at the same time bores me to pieces. It's like you just want to jump, take the plunge and enter a world of the different dimension. 

Gone are days of extreme paranoia. Gone are the days of obvious predilection to pain. Now is the day to soar. Now is to clasp both hands and in between is just a thin air. You stare at yourself in a reflection, and you see someone with a resemblance to your hope. 

Where's the cliff when you need it? To throw away the compost of your past. To see how gravity pulls the scum of your world. I see my own smile. The tears of insurmountable longing for power. It's the day of triumph. The day of the endless. The day when it haunts and bores, the day when you enter the dimension. 

Leather gloves clenching the heart of the pessimist. 


Where's the cliff when you need it? 

Dark

It is known truth that both of us has nurtured strong faith in Him. We believe in His omnipotence and His way of delivering His precious gifts and blessings to us. We do away with the thought that despite our kind of relationship, He still loves us and guides us the same way He does with straight couples. He's kind to each and everyone and that's how He will be forever. 

True enough, I've gathered from Mr. Schuller that there are stages in Faith. We come across several challenges that makes us question Him. We doubted His presence. I personally feel He has forgotten me. In this dark moment of my life, I requested for Him to feed my hope. Nimmy prayed for me that I may trounce this depression and bring me to a place where I can make use of my talent. Nimmy told me, "Mahal, we can't be busy together. God said, if that happens, it's going to be difficult for us." He's right. I suddenly felt guilt for thinking that way. I can still remember how Nimmy narrated how God answered him. From then on, we never showed any signs of reluctance not to believe. 

But I'm just human. 

As I write this entry, I am then again feeling the need to be alone, to ostracize myself, rethink and find myself. It's becoming a cycle, it's not that easy, mind you. I despise it. 

No self-help book can rally round yours truly. I'm on the verge of not even trusting myself and my friends. I'm plain weird. 

Just few hours ago, I received a text informing me that my application got pended. Another rejection blown to my face. It's been a year of recollecting myself, trying to think of what else to do and aspire for. Seeing a lot of closed doors has becoming a hobby, I needed to get out. 

I'm in dark. 

Amend

In my own humble ways, when contemplation is not enough for me in trying to digest behavior of people, I try to seek in understanding the culture that is weaving the contemporary society and how it is evolving. I'm a far-cry from any expert or a sociologist. However, my perspicacity enlightened me that it's really not about the powerful people.  It's not about who's weak or oppressed. Not too close in its disparity. But greatly inclined in the way how people live. And this is how I start to analyze my own. 

I'm vulnerable as a victim to any infringement. I live inside a society where laws and statutes are prolific in words, but doesn't hold much dignity and conviction.  This holds a strong foresight to a challenged and shaken justice milieu. I am not alone in the desire to better lives and affluence or anything similar to that nature. Yet right before my eyes, carnage pounces on every corner to either bring food on the table, or fund further atrocities. 

I am PRO Life and deems the rights appended to any human being. 

But I am not alone in this society. What kind of strength should everyone bear to whittle down the termites splurging in and out? When things get into your senses, you feel for those that have crumbled. I feel like just being helpless like those that have suffered. 

And when it seems I get cornered by believing that we live in an irreparable society, the only way I know I can afford for a bail out is clasping both my hands and implore God to deliver a transformation and bestow upon us peace - not just for myself, but for the people who needs it whether they know it or not. 

When Kids are Not Kids (literally)

Our household is composed of the usual cast; the Mother, the Father, Sister and Brother. I’m the eldest and I’ve seen my sister and brother become adults right before my very eyes. When I was still young, they were babies. Unlike most of the elder siblings, I don’t get jealous by my parent’s ardent attention with the juvenile rowdy broods. I got a life of my own and I only need minute guidance from mama and papa. When I was a kid, I got high expectations upon myself and I felt the need to inspire the kids to study well like me. I thought I got 50% success rate in that goal, having my sister graduate BS Nursing and my younger brother, still a work in progress. He’s out from college pursuing rock music.

Growing up, I was used to having kids running around the house. I used to seeing crayon marks in the wall, toys all around the living room and candy wrappers hidden under the sofa. Apart from the usual riot I see almost every day, my parent’s voice lingers in every corner of the house. On those very moments, you can see me inside my room, studying. Or doing my favorite monologues or singing.

My parents now are nearly approaching their 60’s. The average age of the household now is sitting at 37.8. In other words, we’re getting old and the usual noise you hear at home is now replaced with the noise of TV, radio, dogs barking and neighbor’s children playing outside the street.  

Only until recently that we got to be friendlier to our pets. In comparison to the previous years, we’re generally friendly to our house pets but not to the point of allowing them inside the living room. They can just go as far as our dirty kitchen. They have their own abode in our garage or backyard.

Things have changed and we now miss having kids around. However, we can’t have the option of having another kid, for obvious reasons that Nimmy and I can’t produce our own. Adoption is not also an option. Raising a kid for us means we have to be very stable in all aspect. We’re working on it. My sister doesn’t have a boyfriend and I influenced sister enough with the need to establish a good life for her future kids. Brother has a girlfriend, but he’s well aware of the repercussion of having his own family. He’s definitely not ready for it.

So to satisfy our craving, we have established some special bonds with our pets. They can now enter the living room, play around the carpet - which by the way, have been exposed to our dog’s furry coat. It’s a struggle to clean. Cats can now wander around our rooms. Cats and dogs have been playmates and our spring door, their most favorite playground equipment. 

By the way, if you consider fighting cocks as pets, we have around 17 cocks- 12 found in our farm, 5 are in our backyard, tendered by my dad.  Whether they like it or not though, they can just stay where they are. 

I'd like to introduce our cute and lovable house pets. Apologies for the pictures, it's hard taking them when they are in constant playful motion and if you're just using a cellphone cam. Also, they have last names too, courtesy of my very prolific sister. Enjoy! 

Yuki Manashue, our 2 years old Canaan white breed dog. His tricks include high five and  puppy eyes.

Jamal Yaislamiya, 3 years old dwarf askal. He's the Mara in Mara Clara.

Cerberus Xrus, 3 years old dwarf askal, the Clara in Mara Clara. He's got special talent; licking walls and doors.

Lucio Cubangay, son of the famous blogger Nimmychan, chilling out in our car Nikki. 

Father and son, Nimmy and Lucio. This is also my current phone wall paper. So cute, I wanna  squeeze them. 

Odie Wankinobeh, 5 years old tri-colored queen resting in Nimmy's thigh. 

On Getting Fit

2.5 lbs

I admit it.

I’ve procrastinated in my aspiration of achieving wellness. If I remember it right, a month before leaving our apartment in Pasig, I make it a point to jog in the nearby mall’s massive parking space almost e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. My goal was to compensate on my hobby of stuffing my face with food. Because that time, living with your partner is to be surrounded by food and other gastronomic pleasures. Blame it on appetite and Nimmy’s generous dad because every week, we don’t spend too much for food anymore, because our ref is a refuge for plethora of carbs and sweets and other dishes which propels you to eat and eat some more.

Now I’m back to my parent’s house, I get to experience a whole lot of difference from my usual lifestyle. I have more reasons to get fit. 

As I zero-in the grounds to have a healthy life back, I thought that I just turned 31 and my body requires more nutrients and vitamins to be able to sustain vitality and strength. 

What’s more important is my aspiration to live longer so I can achieve whatever it is that I am dreaming of. Wellness is of paramount nowadays, because of the stress each person can get because of work and the unhealthy habit of the populace.

So only last week, before the long-weekend, I committed myself to exercise, healthy diet and meditation. Just today, I’m feeling the early benefits of it.

Caloocan-Bulacan boundary, my new running road

It’s true that when you exercise, you feel happy. It’s true that despite the feeling of soreness in your thighs, biceps and back, you feel that there are changes happening in your body.  You can’t help but anticipate for more positive changes. Only recently, I found myself addicted to coffee because when I halted the habit just even for a day, I get headaches. Meditation cures just that. Deep breathes, finding my center and ability to control thoughts are proven powerful cures for my anxieties. Honestly, I can say that I can think more clearly now compared to few months back. I can now rekindle my being and I’m happy to say that it has greatly benefited not only me but the people surrounding me.

To affirm my goal of wellness, I am committing myself to the following; 

• Balanced diet
• Running
• Light weights
• Meditation
• Prayer
• Love

Approximately 3 kilometers from turf, middle of the road, alone and doing brisk-walk