The Much Needed Clarity Walk

"Friend, when are we meeting up?"

"I'm free today, let's meet! You have work today?" I asked.  "Yeah, after my shift or later during my break?" 

"Let's go for after the shift!" I replied enthusiastically. 

Joanne was my previous officemate. Pioneer managers of our program, we didn't hit off as instant buddies. She has her own LOB (line of business), mine was different from the usual Voice process of the BPO. However, we both occupy an elevated pedestal, overlooking the Operations floor on our front while overlooking the pristine beauty of Mckinley, the Fort at our back. We both didn't like the instant fame our seating arrangement has given us, but being on each other side, we get to know each other more. Few short conversations turned out to be serious talks about our work, our relationships and other craziness. 

I decided to meet her tonight although there were some reluctance on my part. I don't like driving in C5, and I was afraid that I may not contain myself in front of her. Not that I have huge issues in my life, but recently, I was on a turmoil despite the happy facade people see in my Twitter and FB. My ever loving husband had convinced me easily and reminded me, that it was me who needed help and some sort of advice. 

Of all my friends, Joanne is someone I consider as mentor. As peers, I look up to her for her indomitable experiences.  She never sugar coat, obvious straightforward, but knows how to cure the heart and the spirit. 

Back then, when office is steaming hot with pressure from deliverables, we back-off by means of taking Clarity Walks. We plainly walk outside, buy something to drink like coffee, soda or water and just vent out. It helps clear our mind. It cleanses it of whatever pollution as it been contaminated. 

My friend Joanne is someone I know who's just like everyone may have been challenged by life and thrown out to different obstacles. She turned out to be a fighter and stayed to be optimistic in life. We both clicked on this aspect. Not that we rationalize things around us, but we both have the strong faith that whatever bad the comes along, it'll just surely disperse on its natural course of time. 

Joanne, thanks for the undying support and love for your dear friend, me. 

You showered me with true hope

Believed in me, when I doubted myself

Make me realize what's true

Uplift my spirit endlessly

It was great driving with you and conquering Ayala and Buendia. It was sweet to see MacYummie texting you while we drove and laughed at me beating the red light.  It was awesome seeing your condo and the majestic view from your balcony. Apart from that, thanks for the time and listening to my stories. 

See you soon! 

Follow my friend's blog: Walk With Faith

The Blessing Called Friendship

I heard once an old adage, "Friends are there for you when they'd rather be anywhere else. " The measure of a true friend is in times of need. When for the moment you need a helping hand, they choose to be that "hand" instead of them doing a rather important thing in their lives. Selfless individuals, these are the people  that we want to keep in our lives.

I thought of writing down the group of friends I currently have in my life. Here's what I came up with: 

1.  Childhood Friends - unfortunately, these are the rarest these days. When I go home in our family's place, I would see one or two of them in the old neighborhood. Most of them have their own families and kids.  Our talks usually revolves around how their kids are. There are some I still see, but too shy to start of a conversation.  Back then I remember, we're a group of kids idolizing Bioman. Funny how they assign me as Peebo, and the five of them as the color coded stars. I was the youngest that time and the most competitive. I still would like to rekindle the friendship I have with them. I hope it's not too late. 

2.  Grade School Friends - Again, one of the rarest friends I have. In fact, I can call them the Facebook/Friendster friends. You only get to see them now in social networking sites.  Some friends are also moved over into becoming High School friends. Grade School friends are of course, childhood friends too. Like some of the childhood friends I have, we have less chances of seeing each other. Most of them are abroad and on different places. It's nice talking to them about their current statuses, their own family and their occupations. 

3. High School Friends - These set of friends are my favorite. These are the folks that know me even with the slightest look in my eyes.  We talk endlessly about stuff and we surely know how to keep our confidence level up. These are the friends that no matter what happens to you, they are still there to cheer you up and to tell you honestly what they think about you. They are my best critic, my biggest supporters. It's always a great laugh with them. Of course, we talk about their kids and how indebted am I especially during Christmas season knowing that I am the godfather of their sons and daughters. 

4. College Friends - I have few close friends in college and these are the folks that have stirred my propensity to be serious with my career. We're the debate team, the badminton varsity and the folks who frequent libraries and government agencies.  They are the best allies. 

5. Workplace Friends - I call them my support/mentoring group. They are the ones who are not afraid to provide feedback and motivation. These are the bosses I had who became close friends. These are the peers that stimulates your thinking and challenges your decision, not for anything else, but to help you grow in the professional milieu. 

6. Neighbors

7.  Pets - I consider them friends too. Our family have three dogs and three cats. All of which I love, they are source of happiness and inspiration too. 

8. Soulmates - these are the folks at home, my family. These are the people who provide unconditional love. These are the relatives that are there for you in times of triumph and success, and times of challenges and sacrifices.  These is your one true love, your anchor, your  meaning. For me, this is my Nimmy. 

Of the blessings the Lord has given me, I think friends are one of the most precious ones I have. These are the people that makes my life colorful and exciting. I can't imagine a life without these relationship with friends. 

Indeed, blessed are we to find them. So may I ask, how thankful are you for friends?

Tonight I Give In (Warning: Cheesy Overload)

It's our 59th monthsary! Another month, we'll be 5 years. Well, we haven't talked about how to celebrate it yet, but for sure, it'll be one special day. In the blogger tradition of listing down top things about themselves, allow me to list down my top 10 things about US: 

10.  We both snore. Alright, I know I wrote about Nimmy snoring while sleeping, but ladies and gentlemen, let me divulge the fact that I too, snore. We wouldn't know if we do it in synchrony, but we exchange comments about this when we wake up. 

9.  We're the officemate lovers. We both worked in the same company twice. I can't think of any disadvantage about it. Every time we eat together during lunch, it's like a date.  If I'm stressed with my boss, he's always there to listen to me. If he's stressed, I'm there for him too. 

8. We're the Yin and Yang. We both have differences that complements each other. He's not into organizing things, I'm the O.C. He's the listener, I'm the talker. He's the frugal, I splurge. He's the rich, well, I'm rich too. LOL

7. We duet.  I remember talking about this just today with Doc Ced and Desoleboy. Nimmy and I would sing and he would do 2nd voice for me, without him knowing. LOL. So cute. 

6. We challenge each other. Me, being the oldest is still amazed with Nimmy's achievement. This in fact makes me strive more to better myself. He's so supportive. It helps too that we don't complicate things along the way. 

5. Badminton freaks. I introduced this sports to Nimmy and he embraced this wholeheartedly. Nimmy doesn't know that he has the acumen for this sport. I played this for years, and he picked up on it in just few months.  He would occasionally win sets against yours truly. 

4. Romantic cubs. Saying "I love you too" is not our thing. We respond with I love you if anyone of us says I love you.  It needs to be complete, correct spelling and heartfelt when said or texted. We don't get used to saying it.  To add, we love to cuddle and kiss. 

3.  Dreaming is everything. Nimmy and I dream together for our future. We dream big. Whatever plans we have in life, we share it together. We're the life-partners, soul-mates. We pray together for guidance and we have big faith in HIM.

2.  Travel. We're each other's companion. We love long trips, commuting or driving. We love new places and nature. It has a lot to do with Nimmy being a photographer. I love his pictures and he would always want me to critic on his work. 

1. Foodies. We love to eat. Need I say more? :)

Five years ago, I've never imagined having Nimmy in my life. After failed relationships I've gone through, I could have just wallowed into thinking that lovelife was never my cup of tea. It was hard and doubting was just the easy way out. If there's one thing I knew which I would like to give as an advice for everyone, that's taking the risk for love.  If I haven't pursued my Nimmy, this could have been a totally different story.  I couldn't imagine having a life without him. 

One month to go and we'll be on a state we're most people think about it as a milestone. We're really  blessed to have found each other.  Thank you Lord. 

I leave this song to you guys, whether you're in love or not, in a relationship, single, it's complicated, married or what have you.  Whatever your case may be,  may you find happiness in your heart, and give in to falling in love. Trust that it's all gonna be worth it. 

I Halt

I've been doing my usual routine of early morning jog for two months.  Albeit satisfied with the results, I suddenly began asking myself. What's my end goal? Then fill this question with cricket sounds.

So few days ago, I've decided to stop and manage my diet.  Here's what I had this week:

1. Fruit Soda 

2. Baconette Strips

3. 2 cups rice

4. a cup of hot Milo

5. Yakult

6. refrigerated cake

7. sylvanas

8. bananas

9. ube bread

10. diced hopia

11. viands: adobo, beans sprouts, sitaw

12. tomatoes

13. siopao

These are the things I stuffed my tummy in no particular order. Looking back to the previous week - here's what I remember eating:

1. camote

2. 1 cup rice

3. viand: beans sprout

4. water

5. Fitnesse Cereal

No need to mention the difference. But I realized that after all the deprivation and the hard work I did, I don't think it's worth it. I remember writing about being healthy and stuff. Sad to say, I contradict most of the stuff I've written there. Apart from the contradiction laying in front of my eyes, I think there's this sore truth that no matter how hard you try to exercise and diet, your end result is tied up with making yourself look good in the eyes of  many. Well, it may be of different case to others. 

I'd like to embrace the life of not being worried with things. 

Because I want to.

I need to.

And it's the right thing to do. 

Lessons

Lion's Den. Mine is like a case of a person thrown out to several challenges. As the lion tries to devour each fiber of my flesh, I honestly feel the excruciating pain anyone can imagine. It's the pain that no matter how hard you try to fight back and get out in your solitary predicament, you just can't. Lions are there to feed. Vicious and selfish they are, and your role is to feed not only their empty stomach, but their ego. Challenges are good. It keeps you in your toes. It makes you realize that you're just human. But apart from that one can put that the "den" is like a stage. You look at it with entertainment value - as you try to compete, you shine or you just lose your own luster. There's a lot of lion in me. But it doesn't mean I'll be in trouble, the least to be worried about as a matter of fact. 

***

Buying Time. Patience is okay. For some occasions, it's mere presence can only show non-sense of urgency. One must know how to draw the line.  It helps to think the end-goal, the long term ramifications of decisions you wish to act upon.  Thus, it helps to have that time to spare in planning and contemplating.  If I feel its dragging me 1,000 miles from my aspiration, will it give me justice to just grab what's in front of me? Are things not so important but primordial in my current existence instill hope? Or are this mundane things the real meaning? I'm grateful that time is on my side. 

***

Grab Your Anchor.  I felt troubled and bewildered on this current plight. I've looked for signs and clues to what this should lead. It's not that easy waking up day by day and your existence solely depends on your faith.  My anchor is the essence of my existence. I hold on to it. For without it, I'm just a speck in the universe, wandering like a dust propelled by gustiness of wind to destination I do not know. I hold on to love. 

***

Refuge to Laughter. Help your heart as you go through what you have to go through. Indulge to things that will take you away from sufferings. Life is too short to be spent in romanticizing sorrows. Life is not all about it, enjoy the other side of the craziness. I laugh at my craziness and it puts balance to this perspective. 

***

Sweet Revenge. Your lions are happy when they see you weak and vulnerable. Your sweetest revenge is to prove them otherwise. When you are confronted by your lions inside their den, it's either you fight back or just be devoured alive. Give a good fight in such a way you muster your strength and channeling it to profound thinking. Lions can attack me, but I can just do the same. Whoever wins, doesn't matter for now. In the future my alliance to myself and faith will surface as the the sole winner. 

***

Finding Leo, the title of this blog. It lives up to that certain expectation. My life right now is on it's quest of finding my real purpose. Lucky am I to encounter the things I've experienced for these are blessings. 

Good things will surely unfold. I will not doubt.